God Help Me

2019 has been quite a year. I grieved for lost loved ones and lost my muse. Following a very successful sense of humour bye-pass operation I almost lost my mind. Thankfully the doctors say this procedure is entirely reversible; it just takes time. Phew! I can safely say that this has not been the best year of my life…and yet I’ve released 4 new songs, 2 of which I rank amongst my very best – Julia,  and Venus Girl . I’m not sure yet what to think about my latest offering God Help Me (or Madrid for that matter). I’ll let you be the judge of those.

God Help Me is on a similar theme to Paul McCartney’s Yesterday. I’ve kept the words, melody and instrumentation all very simple. Of course, it’s not a patch on Yesterday lyrically, vocally or musically, but the one place God Help Me does reach, which Yesterday doesn’t, is beyond McCartney’s regret and into the realms of self loathing. I think that particular characteristic would be completely alien to the Beatle who appears to have no self doubt or self confidence issues. It is, without question, the saddest song I’ve ever written (and I’ve penned a few!) but it was good to get it out of my system. I didn’t enlist Martyn or Wayne’s help with it as I wanted it to come from me, to be uncomplicated and direct. As you know, I can’t play drums, but if I could I wouldn’t have played them anyway. Tony does things to those skins that I could never even imagine – every time!

Anyway, Tony went to Qatar for an indefinite number of years on 30th November, so I am now drummer-less. Oh, and I am also keyboard player-less as Wayne recently left The Doors Rising under a cloud. I can play keys of a fashion, so maybe I could use a drum machine and record new songs that way? Maybe, but I wouldn’t watch this space if I were you – you might develop a  permanent squint as I’m not feeling very creative anymore. Mind you, I can’t complain; over the past 11 years I have written / recorded / produced and released 52 original songs for The Vow (this is in addition to the 11 very old songs which appear as bootlegs). That’s not bad considering I began the project in 2008 already at the dawn of my Autumn and now find myself basking in Autumn’s twilight! Au revoir.

p.s. A number of people have asked what the high pitched instrument is at the beginning of the song. It’s an electric guitar with a capo across the 5th fret and I’m playing harmonics. Simon, the producer, has put some lovely reverb on it as well as a reverse tape effect. I had asked him to make it sound like it’s coming from another world and I think he’s done that.

1) 15 storeys high

2) A walk in the sunshine

3) All the other boys

4) And I know

5) As the crow flies

6) Back to Monday

7) Bluer than you

8) Boys in their games

9) Caroline for all we know

10) Casablancan night

11) Coal fire (burn the changes)

12) Colamericana

13) Don’t waste my time

14) Falling stars

15) Far too lonely

16) For a dreamer

17) Free the world

18) Ghost writer

19) God help me

20) Heaven won’t hold me

21 High time (ethereal  girl)

22) Holy roller

23) I am immortal

24) I can’t be what you want me to be

25) I want you

26) I’m not looking for love

27) I’m over you flunky

28) Julia

29) Madrid

30) Maybe I need you

31) My swan song

32) No sensation

33) No sound now

34) Out of my time

35) Peace in our time

36) Peace in our time (ensemble)

37) Reflections on Saturday

38) Small thoughts

39) Someone to talk to

40) Someone to talk to (A cappella)

41) Spacedust

42) Spacedust (outro)

43) Television’s home

44) That’ll be the day

45) The dust on my halo

46) The Vow

47) To the end of the world

48) Venus Girl

49) Wheels within wheels

50) Wintertime

51) You are

52) You think so you are

These are my bootlegged songs (some are better than others!):

  1. Another Saturday

2) December 12

3) Don’t let it die

4) Evergreen

5) If you see me

6) Nothing in this world

7) Reflections on Saturday (duet)

8) Strangeless places

9) The brain drain

10) When I cry

11) You can’t walk away



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